Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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