your parents love me but you hate me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
