im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
