Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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