Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
