so let's talk penis.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
