My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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