Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
