She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
