I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
