More tranny stories later!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
