i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
