Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
