She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
