Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
