she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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