he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
