I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
