I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
there is puke in my bra ... again
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