my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
