Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
