I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
