He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
