So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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