How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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