She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
