My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
