i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
