I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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