Jerry, you need to find god
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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