We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
