Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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