Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
