Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
