those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
