Umm I'm too high to move.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i need some magic done to my vagina
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
