Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
a search helicopter?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
