May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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