I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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