It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
