i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
40s are totally the cure
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
