Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
