I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
