my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
