maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
