you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
