Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
