is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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