I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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