If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
